i have no idea what i'm doing

it's been 6 months, and i find myself on the floor of my bedroom again.

so different, but so much the same.

this time, in preparation for an almost identical (yet completely opposite) Kenya experience, i'm writing a letter to my ninety-some year old veteran friend. it's going a little something like this:

I would say that my biggest personal accomplishments since graduating a few years back include not settling down or easing into/accepting my place in this "real world" I've been told so much about. Sometimes I look at my friends and people my age who have already taken the leap into occupations, committed relationships, and even parenthood and wonder: "Why is my world so different?" BUT DON'T WORRY--thoughts like these are few and fleeting.

The truth is, looking back I can say that 2014 has easily been the best year of my life, and I fully understand that not everyone can. God has abundantly provided for me on this crazy beautiful little path, and a track record like mine leaves little room for comparison or anxiety about the future.

i have no idea what i'm doing. and *somehow, i'm completely ok with that.

accepting that i'm a work in progress is something i pray i never stop learning.

cheers loves! x

*this 'somehow' has a lot to do with the provision of God in the flesh, whose birth we celebrate this season, (and whose Life is the reason i'm where i am and have what i do.)

niote

today.
today was too good of a day not to be chronicled.

it began after school when we decided to take a walk to YakoMart, our grocery store. we had all intentions of beating the rain, but it began to sprinkle as we reached the parking lot. once we'd gathered our chocolate bars and juice and been stared at by every member of the Yako team, it had already began pouring. (none of this is unusual.) Kenyans DO NOT get wet, so everyone was crowded under the awnings and inside the store. being that we already make a spectacle of ourselves being white, we decided to make a break for it and run home, grocery bags and all.

we arrived home to Gala (the art teacher) showering in wet clothes the downpour--also not an uncommon practice-- while the kiddos watched from the dining hall. "Teacha! Teacha!" the little ones yelled and pointed, some of them find it so entertaining that we mzungus "don't fear rain."

I have found that this kind of weather is the perfect time for a jog. there is no one out on the paths for the most part, and the rain is a good encourager to keep me going. I grabbed my head phones and rain jacket and headed out.


not only were the rains harder and the floods higher than I'd seen yet, the wind was making it almost impossible to continue in any direction. I made it down the road and around the corner and stopped, thinking of turning back, when I saw them. I was being followed! I was surprised to see anyone getting wet, let alone 7 or 8 someones. there behind me was a gaggle of children running after me.

all smiles and after a round of high fives, I decided to continue on. they led me through their neighborhood of tin houses and makeshift garages sheltering cows and goats from the storm. we ran by all of their homes and said "habari" to all their families, they were quite surprised to see a soaked mzungu waving hello!  

this was one of those times that I will cherish as truly living.

when I returned home, after soggy hugs from my rain buddies, everyone was still inside playing or trying to keep warm. while I was showering in the runoff from the roof, I was being called to from some of the older girls upstairs in their dorm. they were being cheeky and trying to "splash" me with the rain, and since I was already sopping I decided to run up where they were to splash right back. I figured they were barricaded in their dorm to keep dry, but it was quite the opposite.

I walked in to find this scene:

those two girls, Linda and Sarah, were, as they called it, "swimming" in about 2 inches of water that had flooded the girl's room. a few of the others had joined in as well, the rest all cozied up in the beds that they had pushed away from the windows. my first instinct was to worry about all the things that were getting wet, but I realized there was no time for worrying. we had swim races, did our best snow angel impressions, and even made an obstacle course sliding through and under beds.

if there was ever a moment to be and feel alive, it was then.

once the shivering and chattering of teeth by mostly naked swimming girlies was too much, we decided to attempt dryness. the rain had let up, and I made it back down to my own room for a change of clothes. outside the window, I heard that some of the kids had emerged and were wanting to play in the rain (but only now that it had gathered on the ground and wasn't falling from the sky). I put my gum boots on to join them, and I found that Mama had made a run to supply some of the babies with their own gum boots! they were ecstatic to be allowed and able to jump in puddles and not catch a cold! they were too cute to say the least.

Eliza and Purity

Georgie (yes, in a dress) and Faye

today was the kind of day I'll dream about in a few months when I am missing this place.

haraka haraka haina baraka

"Hurry, hurry, has no blessings."

This phrase was shared with Gala and I by our piki piki driver yesterday. In the attempt to stray from the cliche, I didn't want it to find any significance for my life in Kenya. But it does.

Life here in Kenya is slow.
(In the absolute best way possible.)

Each morning my eyes open to the sound of children singing or playing directly outside our window. The sun is already shining and our wake up call alarm usually sounds not too long after. (If it's a good day we might be able to get one good snooze in there, Lord knows how much I love that snooze button.)





From my bottom bunk I unsuccessfully attempt to gracefully crawl out of my mosquito net and immediately put my shoes on. (You gotta keep your feet clean when you can!)
If there are two things I've learned, they're that wetting your toothbrush more than once is a luxury, not a necessity, and that it is possible to live without running water. You just do.

In the mornings I usually like to steal a briefly unnoticed glimpse of the action outside. (Directly across from our 'house' is the dining hall/art and nursery room/multipurpose space, and it's always crawling with children.) The kids have been up for a few hours and have scoured the trash heap for anything resembling toys and are busy playing away.

I'm usually spotted by one of the few kids who waits outside our door for us to wake up, and we exchange smiles as they giggle at my teddy bear pajama bottoms. 
Put some toast in the toaster, get dressed in clothes that I probably wore yesterday, and make sure I've got a headband on and I'm ready for the day. (Sharing a small mirror with Paulie D and J Woww is always an entertaining experience.) I make sure to take that darn malaria tablet with a breakfast of toast and peanut butter (we found some Skippy!) and drink what feels like a gallon of water to prevent feeling sick the rest of the day.  

After ringing the bell we all head to classes. I'm usually greeted by a few of the nursery kids with hugs around the knees and tickles and giggles. Teaching Math and English is a dream. I've finally learned how to speak slowly and clearly enough that they can understand me, and we've even managed to make a few inside jokes in Classes 3 and 4. I have pretty much complete say in what I teach (from a skeleton curriculum, obviously) and we have a blast. 

After homework time and a small break it's back out to play with kids. We've been getting creative the last few weeks with play time. We've graduated from water bottle volleyball to soccer ball volleyball, Teacher Chloe has fashioned a swing out of some rope, and even Scuba Ruth came to visit.

It's not just rained, but poured around 5 or 6 the past few days, and the first day I was in an intense round of volleyball peppering with Richie, our Kenyan coordinator's son. While the rest of the children bolted inside at the first drop of rain, Richie and continued to play until the rain made the soccerball to heavy to bounce. I was already sopping so I decided to get my shampoo and take advantage of the "running water." It was simply glorious. The next day around the same time we were greeted with another thunder storm, and the rest of the teachers decided to put on a friendly volleyball game for the kids, watching from the dry dining hall. Dripping would be an understatement, but absolutely worth it!

 

This might seem like a lot, but settling into our routine was fairly easy and quick. I love life here at Mama's. I wrote in my journal the other night about how important the relationships that I'm making here are. The opportunity to learn and gain practical teaching experience on top of all that is extremely unique! 

There are too many kids that I want to update you on a tell you about here, but I will tell you that Boi is adjusting to life here at Mama's very well. He now even responds to "How are you?" with a soft, quiet "I am fine" with a smile. 

We've had a few older girls dropped off, one a week before we came and one just 2 days ago. They are both 12 years old, absolutely gorgeous, and extremely quiet. We've been told that they've both suffered from physical abuse before they've come here, and I have such a burden for them to feel loved and accepted! They need to know the all-encompassing love of Jesus. (Nothing sweet Eunice can't help me with :) ). If you could keep Whinny and Rebecca in your prayers this week, I would greatly appreciate it!

I am not looking forward to leaving, even if it does mean I can actually drink the milk and get some ChicfilA on demand upon my return. 

I hope to write sooner than later, and hopefully my next video will be better than this one! I got a lot of video of a dance party the other night, so stay tuned! Much love ya'll!

habari

  

Hello to my faithful friends and family! Things are well here at Mama Orphan's as we finally have power and internet again! I'm pretty sure we didn't go much longer than 24 hours without either, but on top of not having running water we have felt pretty disconnected from the real world. (Not being able to make toast was probably my highest complaint, but other than that we made do quite nicely :) ). I also haven't had any issues with taking my medicine, so thanks for the prayers and happy thoughts!


As we are nearing the end of week 2, we are finding our routines for the week and settling into teaching. I have been really loving getting to know my Standards 3 and 4 Math classes, as well as learning how to get them excited about math! We are finishing up a unit on money in Standard 4, so we made our own currency (I keep saying dollars instead of shillings!) and had a little store today! They really enjoyed it I think, most of them never having had the opportunity to make a purchase in their lives. We might have to make a field trip to the YakoMart, our local grocery/everything store, but for now JoHannahMart will have to do.

As for teaching English, well, we're getting there.

Last weekend we rented a car and drove to the Kakamega Rainforest! It was a good first outing for us, and I got to drive! I don't consider myself the best driver, and I have no idea what the stipulations are for getting a Kenya drivers license, but nobody died! We did a lot of hiking and learned a lot about trees and plants in the rainforest, as well as saw a lot of monkeys and baboons! We got quite close to a huge baboon, it was a weird/awesome experience. We also stopped at the Kakamega YakoMart and found American peanut butter and ketchup! (It's the little things, guys!)

Today I had my first experience washing my laundry by hand, and I don't think I was too bad at it. (I'd like to thank my grandmother for the previous experience...) All of these things (hand washing laundry, bucket showering, brushing teeth from a water bottle, etc.) haven't been too difficult to adapt to, but make the thought of throwing a load into a washing machine or turning on the tap to brush my teeth or take a shower (showers can be warm?) seem like things that only happen in movies... it's a good thing I'm used to keeping my showers few and far between!

Eunice and I are somewhat progressing in Swahili... make that not really at all actually. We've ditched the studying the last few days and taken up some more enjoyable activities, such as reading and telling stories, basically just laughing a lot. She has promised to take me to the best market stand in the neighbourhood so I can buy an avocado tomorrow, she tells me they're the best! She is in Standard 5 she goes to school everyday, leaving nightly study sessions the only time we hang out. The Standard 4s have noticed that we have become friends, and one student asked if I like Eunice more than tomato sauce. I suppose you could say that I do.

Last story! There has been a few new kids introduced to the orphanage since we have been here, the most recent is a child who was found in Uganda. He is probably about 5 or 6, but only speaks Ugandan. My heart was broken the first time I saw him, so scared, not knowing anyone or having anyone to communicate with very effectively. He was extremely cautious of us, the wuzungus (white people), as most kids here are at first anyway. Yesterday there was no power (as there often isn't), so the kids so lovingly coaxed (more like yelled "Teacha! Teacha!" at us from the window) us into helping them up the stairs and to tucking them in using our head-lamps at bed time. It was mild chaos (the best kind), as we had never seen the children's dormitories even in the light. Once we had most of the crazies rounded up into bed, I felt a small hand take mine. It was the new boy. In all the hustle and bustle of making dinner and getting to bed without power, he was never told what to do. He was never given a bed. (I haven't yet been that close to crying the whole time I've been there.)
Not knowing who to ask (the kids are all kind of on their own most of the time, and the care takers are usually tending to the little babies, cleaning up after supper, etc.), I found Eunice. She grabbed the boys other hand and we attempted to calmly assure him we would take care of him, though he had no idea what was going on either I'm sure. We went back upstairs and Eunice, talking with a few other older kids, found him a bed with a blanket and everything. I bent down to tuck him in, and his huge black eyes showed no emotion as I attempted to sound calm and comforting. Searching his eyes for something (anything!) that would tell me he was alright, I kissed his forehead and it happened. He giggled. I smiled (and might have shed a tear), and kissed him again and again until he, giggling and giggling, seemed calm and somewhat happy. By that time the room was mostly quiet and we slipped out, bidding our babies sweet dreams.
(Today I learned that this boy is to affectionately be called 'Boi'. I'll post a picture soon!)

The long term effects of me being here are so blatantly obviously for me. I have struggled with this a bit, wondering if completely opening up and pouring out will benefit anyone, knowing that I will be leaving in 4 short weeks. I do know, however, that my God is sovereign, and I am here for a reason. (Sorry that was cheesy, I don't know how else to say it!) I am already so grateful for this experience, and am excited to see what the next 4 weeks hold.

I miss you, I love you, but it's bed time here in Busia! Lala salama! (Sleep well!)

asante sana

Our first week at Mama's is coming to a close! We have said that we can't decide if it feels like we've been here for ages or since it's so new everyday, it seems like everyday is just as new and exciting as the last.

I don't think I can quite put into words how much this opportunity overwhelms me. Teaching in Africa is something I've hoped and dreamed of my whole life! I have been so flooded with amazement every teaching session I've had so far. God is so good.

I've had a bad bout with some intense sickness the last few days. (Darn you, doxycycline!) I have never been more thankful for fever-reducing and pain killing medications! Thank you to everyone who's prayed for me, I finally have been able to eat food other than crackers and haven't had a bad visit to the bathroom in awhile.

We've had our first rain experience today!   We haven't had running water since our first night and have had trouble getting ahold of a plumber, so God sent us a nice downpour instead. No complaints from me about bucket showers, after being sick it's made me feel like a new person! 

The way it works here is we all teach our subjects throughout the day to children that are nursery age to Standard 4 (about 12 years old). The rest of the older children go out to schools in the area. Since it is a registered orphanage some of the older kid's schooling is payed for by the government, and others are on sponsorship from donors mostly in the UK. In the evening the students have required homework time, which we help out with and do specialized tutoring sessions.

This is Eunice. She was dreadfully shy to us (me) on the first few days, running and hiding whenever we would speak to her! It took her a few days but she's warmed up to us, and she helps us out a lot translating for the younger kids. In exchange for some math tutoring, Eunice, along with some other girls, have been working on Swahili with me! They laugh at me a lot, but I'll get there.

I wish so badly that so many of you could be here. There's always a baby to hold, some cheeky 4th years to play empty-water-bottle-volleyball with (that is, volleyball with anything from the garbage heap), someone who wants to braid your hair, or even just someone who wants their hand held. I am so grateful to be experiencing this, and appreciate all the love and support from back home! Cheers for now, much love, and asante sana! 

nakupenda

I Well, safe to say we're in Kenya! The journey here was, to put simply, LONG. (4 flights lasting 20 hours total!)

But praise be, we've made it. The team of teachers I've been teamed with is a really great group of girls coming from England, Wales, Scotland, and Cyprus!  I'm learning a lot about the UK, as well as beautiful Kenya.

We arrived to learn that our project coordinator has malaria, pretty badly too. She's had a quick recovery after an overnight at the hospital, but will need a few days and a shower (if the water ever comes back on!) to feel 100%. 

I'll have to keep this short before the Wifi cuts out again, but here's a few pics and hopefully I'll get a video posted here soon! Thanks for your prayers, they're greatly appreciated! Nakupenda! (I love you!) 

"I don't want an adventure of a lifetime, I want a lifetime of adventure."

Im laying on the floor of my bedroom.

God is one crazy awesome guy. 

Thinking of all the places I've been, people I've met, and life I've been able to enjoy (even in just this last year!) makes me laugh... so stinkin amazing!

My next adventure starts in a few hours. (Technically it started about 6 months ago, or maybe even a few summers ago, or maybe the day I was born, but let's not get too technical here.)

There are a whole lot of things going on inside me that words can't exactly explain, but a few things I do know:

-If you're reading this, I'm grateful for you. God totally rocked my world when I asked for His providence for this trip, and He used so many of you to do so. Thank you is not a strong enough phrase.

-I need prayer. Looking back I see that the only way I've gotten where I am at this exact moment is because of it. I am learning what it looks like to deny myself so I can show Jesus. I am learning that nothing worth having comes without hard work. I am learning that I have a lot to learn. 

-I am an extremely mediocre writer. (And that's putting things modestly.) Thank you for bearing with me as I attempt to chronicle this crazy adventure. I promise I will let the pictures do the talking eventually. 

So whatever this Eat Pray Love meets Jesus Calling adventure holds, let's do this. Holla Jesus, we're listening!